Life is Given and Taken Away

Quickly it happened and then the questions start... Why would I be given a treasure and then have it taken away without even knowing. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye when it was happening?  I don't feel like I can find words or the emotions to cope with all that life is bringing my way. Why does God give you things and take them away? Or why do you think you will have something great and nothing happens at all.  I trust in you is all I can say. I don't understand, but I stand in the unknown and say it is well with my soul.  I trust your deeds are good and fair. You know what I treasure and you hold my needs in your hands. Hold me through the questions, sadness and hurt. Hold me and whisper the words my soul longs to hear. Tightly you hold all my fears, softly you comfort me and tell me you are near. I take these treasures and place all of them in your care. I let go of all the notions that you are not here. Wrap and gently rock me in your arms... I trust in you my friend.

Jacob -September 26,2011 > Luv u- Mom

Holding On

Words fill the pages of a life I gave to you
I don't understand the changes or the things I'm going through
As I listen to their laughter and listen to the tears
It cuts me to pieces but I must have no fear
 
I will hold on to hope
Hold on to healing
I will hold on to the hands that help me through

Alone with you that's what I need
Please take this pain away so I can breathe
Help me be strong and let me feel safe
Oh how I need you in this place
 
I will  hold on to hope
Holding on to healing
I will hold on to the hands that help me through

I'm looking for the answers
I'm looking for a change
I'm looking for the light in all this pain
I hear you calling in the distance I can feel the change
I know if I listen everything will be okay

I will hold on to hope
Hold on to healing
I will hold on to the hands that help me through

The Calling of the Night

The dark night of the soul is tiring and sweet. The night awakes the desires of the things that hold your heart captive and it gives you safety at the same time. You know in the darkest places their is still a light shining in the midst of the pain, confusion, longing, and tears.  Its the cry of your heart that produces the pleasure of life.  Its the beauty that fills your soul that makes you complete and whole. Its in the journey that you find your true beauty,  your soul is calling you into a deeper awaking of the heart. Though the journey is hard it is sweet and rich. I take with me a desire to go deeper into the dark forest and be guided by the light.  To find a piece of my missing soul and embrace the journey all over again.

Moments of Awakening

I am trying to get to the place of being present in each moment. I live in stress each moment wondering if I can pay this bill or if I can finish all my projects I have laid out in my head. The thoughts in my head are always racing of what to do or how to plan so I won't get hurt. It’s like a 3 ring circus in my mind. Moments get lost in thoughts and movements of my heart get pushed aside. I begin to wonder if I can control any movement of my heart or mind.  I am going to try to stop and take a deep breathe and think of only of the moment before me. Instead of looking at the future every waking moment of each day, I want to start in today and not question why or how or when this or that will happen.  If I took today and loved those in front of me and used all my energy to stop the thoughts pounding inside of me maybe then I'd have a moment to breathe, so the here's to this moment. Cheers!